File Under: That's a good one.

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears.
'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.

At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for.'

-and-

Farmers Aren't Stupid -

A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch
and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect
your ranch for your water allocation. The old rancher says, 'Okay, but
don't go in that field over there.' The Water representative says,
'Mister, I have the Authority of the Federal Government with me. See
this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any
agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself
clear? Do you understand?' The old rancher nods politely and goes about
his chores. Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the
Water Rep running for his life and close behind is the ranch er's bull.
The bull is gaining with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified, so
the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and
yells at the top of his lungs.............................


'YOUR CARD! SHOW HIM YOUR CARD!'